release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin.

So much for writing every day... but yesterday evening, all I did was clean. I had to look for my checkbook, and we had family friends (our former next-door neighbors) coming to stay the night on their way back to Florida. I didn't find my checkbook, so I guess Mom's paying for my haircut until I can find it. (Whoops!) I'm a little concerned, because even though it usually takes a while, I do find important things... like my checkbook. I have too much stuff in my room, and I'm not done going through it, but I really doubt it's in there... which means... WHERE is it?

It'll turn up, right in front of my nose. Just give it about a week.

Ugh.

I am typing this from work. Alan's not here yet, and I have a new project (thank goodness), so he needs to explain it to me. I dislike working here, but I don't mind the company; my coworkers are nice people. I miss Julieann, and might not be here when she gets back from Peru, but que sera, sera. We'll see.

In less than three weeks, I will probably be able to do splits. That is pretty sweet. Really very sweet. My next goal is to re-learn my meager gymnastics skills, and then learn to do a back walkover, so I can learn to do a back handspring. I will need a spotter. And a gym to do all of this in. I also need to start running on a regular basis if I am to keep up with Dan (really? You really think I'll be able to run with you, track boy?) After that, all of my athletic dreams will be complete for the meantime. (And then I guess I make some new ones?) I'd love to improve my dance jumps... dance falls are good, ballet positions are good, jetés not so much, battements are... decent... uhm...

Oh new goal new goal! Fouetté rond de jambe en tournant!!

That's all I'm doing for the time being: making awesome goals. We'll talk about guitar next.

Delicious!

xoxo,
Gabby

this is what it means to be held.

I am taking a proverbial "leaf" out of C. Bass's "book" and writing in this blog every day. I'm still in America, still in northern Virginia, as it were, but since Caitlin and Dustin and C. Bass and Matt are writing about their Arizona/Mississippi/Afghanistan/Jordan adventures, respectively, I thought I would write about mine in Virginia. It's giving me motivation to have adventures.

With that said, adventures will have to be put on hold. My grandmother on my dad's side passed away (quite unexpectedly) this Sunday. This is particularly difficult because my aunt, dad's sister, has cancer and has "been given two months." We're going down to New Orleans on Friday night, and the funeral is on Monday. I think this is an experience unlike any that I've had before. For me, the realization that a loved one has passed away comes in stages. We all stayed home Sunday, and while I'm going about my normal routine this week, I don't know what will happen when we arrive in NOLA.

Things like this help me realize the value of having family and friends. I learned a long time ago not to take people for granted, but I think I still don't thank them enough. I know lots of people think that they have the best mom ever, and I'll admit that some of my friends do have pretty awesome moms, but just like they're thinking... I know mine's the best. I'm not sure if I could explain this if I tried, but selfless is a good word to start with. Mom, Dad, and Alyssa have been wonderful, especially these past few days. I haven't told very many people that my grandmother's passed away, but everyone I did talk to was amazing and supportive.

I cope best when I'm active, so I went to work yesterday and today, and I'll go for the rest of this week. It's good to have conversations about normal things. It isn't that I'm exactly trying to take my mind off of my grandmother, but I can't let her death be all that I think about all day. It was nice to have an hour-long conversation last night with Dan about ordinary things. I found that comforting. Just knowing that he's there, and thinking about everything that that means... these things are awesome blessings. It's this beautiful intangible something called love. That's what everything comes down to. And I don't know what I'd do without it, without my family and friends and boyfriend. That thing that you can't explain, that really good thing? It's love, and it's God, and I think we're not quite sure what to do with it all the time, but we need it... I mean, it's pretty sweet. Understatement of the year.

This is why I'm going to be okay. I miss her, and I'm not done "being sad," but there's so much comfort to be had, and I'm be a fool to ignore it. This is what it means to be held. I've unintentionally tied that back to the title, which is just a line from a Natalie Grant song. ... I don't think I've ever managed to do that before. Hmm.

All my love,
Gabby

everytime i see you get beautiful, beautiful.

I've decided to get back on the proverbial blogging train. My opinions will be at http://house-lights-down.blogspot.com/, and I'll keep that 0% personal. "Personal" things will go here. It'll be vague (no stalking, yo), but it will be worth reading. Maybe.

Right now I'm working for the Dept. of the Army. It's interesting sometimes, and really tedious other times, and doesn't have anything to do with my future goals or interests, but it's money, and the people are nice.

We just got back from Kauai. I'll post pictures when I get the rest of them uploaded... I took a TON of pictures.